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Perfect Pepper
03:31
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Pepperman: Welcome, Peppino…to your FINAL FIGHT.
Peppino: Actually, this is-a the first one-
Pepperman: HE MADE ME THE BEGINNER BOSS?! BUT I’M PERFECT!
Bright Red Skin, a Stunning Gaze
Pearl-White Teeth AND MUSCLES FOR DAYS!
The time is ripe for victory
The seeds of your destruction have grown into ME!
Peppino: You going to-a fight or flatter yourself?
Pepper:
Oh, Poor Peppino! The writing’s on the wall
You won’t even last a round with this Belle Pepper on the Ball!
There’s but a single choice that you’ve got left to make…
PERISH TO MY SHOULDER OR MY CAAAAAAKE?!
Peppino: What are you-a talking ab-MMMPH!
PEPPERMAN Butt Stomps Peppino.
Pepperman:
Now, don’t despair, for your defeat will be a feat
to show the world Pepperman makes it less mephitic…
And even if the masses toss me out of their art classes,
At least I’ll have one less rude critic!
Pepperman:
A perfect pepper never falters!
A perfect pepper never frights!
A perfect pepper never alters its direction - PSYCH! That’s why perfection
finds this Perfect Pepper in its sights!
*Peppino* Ouugh…you-a tricked me there…but that won’t-a work-a twice!
Pepperman: Another tricky move is sure to-AUGH! WHY DIDN’T IT WORK TWICE?!
Peppino: I just-a told you it wouldn’t!
Pepperman: This isn’t possible! This cannot be!
I’m a living breathing legend, so what is wrong with me?!
My skills are failing to leave their mark…
You can’t just leave this pepper in the dark!!!
Peppino: You’re-a doing the same attacks again…
Pepperman:
No way I’m out of Touch! it’s the Pie-Men who are wrong!
Repetition means so much to art, battle and songs!
Why paint a different subject when there’s nothing to improve
Why ever learn more than four perfect moves?!
Peppino:
Look, Pepperman, I understand that change is-a strange
and very scary like a giant death-a ray…
But ain’t it worth a try to bid your old routine goodbye
And do something-a different for a day?
Pepperman: HERESY!!!
Pepperman:
A PERFECT PEPPER NEVER VARIES!
A PERFECT PEPPER NEVER SHIFTS!
A PERFECT PEPPER NEVER CARRIES DOUBT, REJECTION, OUT!
I KNOW PERFECTION IS THIS PERFECT PEPPER’S PERFECT GIFT!
Peppino: Rejection? Wait…are you still-a hung up about-a the sign?
Pepperman:
Did you think that I would forget the way my heart was broken on the day
you said my opus wouldn’t sell?
Above the store, it’d drive in customers galore
So what if I’m a minor part as well?
(SHOW: Peppino rejecting Pepperman’s logo design for Peppino’s Pizza. At first a fairly well drawn pizzeria logo is shown, then it zooms out to show A GIANT PEPPERMAN giving a thumbs up above the pizzeria logo, several times larger than the logo and towering over it so much that the actual logo looks like a mere footnote.)
It’s only fair I drag you down with me into this hell…
As PEPPERMAN prepares one final charge, Peppino desperately sculpts a PEPPERMAN BUST.
Pepperman:
A PERFECT PEPPER SHOWS NO MERCY!
A PERFECT PEPPER SHOWS NO GRACE!
A PERFECT PEPPER SHOWS THAT PIZZA FACE’S SELECTION DEMONSTRATES PERFECTION, AS I PUT THIS SNOB INTO HIS PLACE…
…
Pepperman: OH. MY. GOODNESS! WHO SCULPTED THIS BEAUTY OF A BOD?! MICHAELANGELO? DONATTELO?!
PEPPINO charges Pepperman as Pepperman shrinks from impact.
Peppino: PEPPINO.
Pepperman: Uh oh.
(PEPPINO SLAMS INTO PEPPERMAN, WINNING THE FIGHT)
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2. |
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Nope!
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