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Legendary Beatdown

by RecD

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1.
Legendary Beatdown 03:14
lyrics
Adventure awaits in Hisui Such a fresh change of pace For the Pokemon series Open worlds and hills to climb Set in Sinnoh but back in a different time Watch the Wurmples graze the grass (Wow!) Stare into the mountainpass! Look at that Rapidash... ..wait... It wants to kick my ass?! Suddenly, I'm on the run Jumped into this plannin' for excitement and fun! But these things can disembowel How'm I 'sposed to fight a boulder with a tiny freaking owl?! Getting burned and paralyzed is a painful new surprise Is that Hippo lookin' at me WITH GLOWIN' RED EYES? I wanted to be the very best Now I just wanna leave unconcussed To not die is my real test To catch them is a plus... And I know it's a more realistic take But when my skeleton breaks From some Machoke's bullet punch I FEEL REAL PAIN INSIDE MY BRAIN AND LOSE MY LUNCH! People in the neighborhood Fear the wild pokemon, AND THEY SHOULD Could be strollin' through the town And some Gyarados decides EVERYONE DROWNS! Got a couple pokeballs... (Whew...) But I can't contain them all... Is that an Ursaring? Oh Arceus... I'M GOING TO GET MAULED!!! Everywhere I try to hide There's a hundred monsters roaming outside! In the air, the land, the lakes... Nothin' I can't catch except for a break! HYPNO: MAYBE *I* CAN HELP YOU REST... (NO!) You're not even in the Dex! This place is bad enough Without some creepypasta pest... I wanted to be the very best Now I just wanna leave with my limbs... To not die is my real test My hopes are pretty dim... And I know There's balms and tactics to use But it's real tough to throw food While I'm eLeCtrOcUtEd.... I think someone else would be much better-suited... Oh, what a thrill it was To fight before because My pokemon took all the hits This target on my back Makes every last impact Feel worse than 20 million crits... I wanted to be the very best Now I just wanna leave. (I JUST WANNA LEAVE.) To not die is my real test To die would be reprieve... And I'm sure It's huge and sprawling and fun But that's cos you're not the one Blackin out ten times an hour.... Cos every deadly beast has even deadlier magic powers! OK, THAT'S IT. I'M USING THE ARC PHONE TO CALL ARCEUS. GET ME OUTTA HERE, MAN! *dial tone* (Grunt of fear)
2.
Legendary Beatdown (Instrumental) 03:14
lyrics
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released February 19, 2022

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RecD Somerville, New Jersey

Disabled dork writing musicals to survive.

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